Friday, December 28, 2012

The Dilemma of Dating

Now, I understand that I'm only eighteen and still have quite a while left in the wonderful world of dating. But, recently I've had the most wonderful epiphany on the subject.  So, we all know what it's like to have that one person that our minds become totally and completely obsessed with. We love their eyes, their smile, their taste in music, the way they talk, their obsession with certain sports teams, their talents, the way they can't sing but still try, their sometimes really awkwardness, and just their overall adorable factor.  BUT, we become so infatuated with everything about this person that we scare ourselves out of ever making our feelings for them known. We're so wildly obsessed with them, yet we're scared to act at all because we might A) be shut down B) not hear what we want to C) get 'friendzoned' D) get snapped into reality where we have to recognize we don't have a shot, accept it, and quit fantasizing or E) any combination of the above. Personally, I think Option D is the most frightening option. We build the perfect picture of this person in our heads and the wrong reaction to our feelings from them can destroy that image in a matter of seconds.
BUT WHY?!
WHY do we act on how we perceive the other person to feel about us? WHY is it so freaking hard for us to act solely on how we feel about them? That option makes the least amount of sense but honestly would have the most gratifying outcome.
In today's society, we're all about self-interest and instant gratification. The same goes for relationships.  We want our significant others to please us, care for us, and love us, and we want it NOW.  Gone our the days of romance, wooing, and courtship of old.  Here now, we have a generation where dinner and a movie is a romantic date, conversations are all digital, and we spend more time with each other in front of television screens rather than getting to know the person we claim to have feelings for.
LET'S DO RELATIONSHIPS A SOLID AND BRING BACK SELFLESS LOVE! Bring back love letters! Bring back walks by the river! Bring back endless drives to nowhere! Bring back singing duets with each other and terrible dancing! Bring back kisses that show affection rather that NCMO's (Non-Committal Make Outs). But seriously imaginary people that I think I'm talking to, NONE of these things can be revisited by us until we revisit the idea of doing something solely to see a smile on another person's face rather than to earn their undying love and the physical benefits of a relationship. We need to stop doing things for our lovers because we want them to love us and tell them how awesome we are and start doing them to make that person genuinely happy! We need to learn persistence and commitment instead of moving on to the next when feelings aren't immediately reciprocated or a relationship hits a rocky road.  Instead of throwing those we truly care about away because they're far away from us, or circumstances won't allow us to be together at the moment, or because we got in a stupid fight about a girlfriend they had 3 years ago, we need to WORK. (Trust me, I know the word 'WORK' will shock the youths of America in 2012, but it's the only way!)
So next time your contemplating whether or not to tell that lovely lady or handsome hunk that you've been  blissfully twitterpated with for so many moons that you've got your eye on them, JUST DO IT. Even if it doesn't work out the way you'd hoped, I guarantee you'll make them happy (and isn't that all you really want for them anyway?) and you never know, you may just be pleasantly surprised with the end of your love story.

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